I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think I sprained my soul last night
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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