I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
