HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This can only be settled by a dance off.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
