found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
and she was petting her beer can
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Pants are for mortals
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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