Yo dont text me then not text me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
