Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
