I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
