Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
should my penis look like a turkey
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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