My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
