On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
