It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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