last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
this boner is exhausting
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Randomize
