Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
