I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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