I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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