im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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