home. puking in laundry basket.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
