Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
