I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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