why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
