on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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