Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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