i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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