in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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