I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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