Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Let's get the cat blown out
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
