well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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