chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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