Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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