last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Randomize
