Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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