OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
