no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
