so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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