my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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