I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
They took my balls.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
