Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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