My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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