i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
