Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
