i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Mom said you looked used
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
