Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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