can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
