I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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