it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
