just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
