That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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