grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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