this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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