Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
