This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
