I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Randomize
