What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize