If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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