you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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