big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
