hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
it's like iHOP with fire
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
