I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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