how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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