I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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